Memory

Monday, December 18, 2006

Memory Current mood: pensive Category: Life Memory is a funny thing. I can recall complete conversations, word for word that I have had with people over 20 years ago but ask me to call you by name when you come up to me and I may not be able to do it. It wasn't always that way. I have/had a photographic/audiophonic memory with near total recall for most of my life. It has only been the last two to three years that it has slipped away. I recall things, names, places, songs etc by 'seeing' them in my mind. It's kind of like a big movie screen with THX Dolby surround sound. It has been both a blessing and a curse over the years to have the kind of recall for conversations that I have/had. Many times people do not remember the little white lies they tell to save your feelings or to protect you from reality. I learned over the years to ignore those kind of lies. After all they were meant with good intentions. The plus side? I can recall funny, romantic, ridiculous, and soul-touching moments I have shared with people who mean the World to me (one especially and you know who you are Nature Dame.). It's like they are there next to me to guide me through my pathless journey towards middle age (not there quite yet!) and it makes me feel loved. The minus? You remember and cannot forget lies and deceptions told to you by people who wanted to hurt you in some way. I can forgive but it's nearly impossible to forget. The fun? I can name any song played in it's original recording when heard on the radio in two to three notes prior to 1990. Music started sucking about then. Not all but a lot of it does ;) The not so fun? I remember what a shotgun sounds like when firing at close range and the sound a body makes when hit by the blast. The scary? Am I losing my ability to remember new experiences all together? Not quite but tell me something and ask me about it an hour later and see if I can tell you what you said. I sometimes wonder if anyone else is like me, Alzheimer patients aside. There are a few fears waiting for me in old age and they are 'deal breakers'. A major one is losing my memories. They are quickly becoming all I have. They comfort me like Linus' ratty blue blanket. I suppose I could look on the bright side of memory loss. How will I know! ;) Scott